People ask me, how I stayed with Jared so long without making him marry me. One friend really pressures her brother in law to propose to his girlfriend and expects me to have some words of wisdom for the non-bride to be. Well, here they are....

Dont spend even one second wondering when he will ask or expecting him to. Spend every moment with him enjoying him....soaking in every detail of him, because it might be your last. Then that is all you will have to hold onto.

Dance! Dance every chance you get, even when there isnt a dance floor.
Sing! Sing at the top of your lung in the car, to each other.
Laugh! Laugh when you lose at the radio game, laugh when you get lost because he actually listened to your directions, laugh when you break something.
Appreciate him! Let him know you appreciate everything he does for you. When he is sweaty and dirty from mowing the yard, hug him and tell him how you love it when it is so pretty. Kiss him when he spent the last 8 hrs putting in a wood floor that you wanted.

When he touches you.....really feel it, dont let it become habit.
When he looks at you and smiles....look back, smile back and memorize every piece of that face looking at you.
When he says he loves you....look him in the eyes and say it back, not just out of habit.

Dont argue over the petty things. Make memories that you can keep with you forever. Dont have regrets and appreciate every second you have together.

I dont get forever with Jared, but I have books and books of pictures and memories that I wouldnt trade for anything.

"I wouldnt have missed it for the world. I, wouldnt trade one memory, cuz you mean too much to me. Even though I lost you, I wouldnt have missed it for the world."

"....and the flowers that I never had. Baby, why'd you leave me why'd you have to go? I was counting on forever, now Ill never know. I cant even breath.....This cant be happening to me. This is just a dream.....She held on to all she had left of him and what could have been. "

Love is...making sandwiches for your road trip, and eating them even when they are the strangest combination of food you have ever tasted.
Love is...moving all my stuff back home so I would have somewhere to feel safe.
Love is...painting the walls purple, just for me.
Love is...exchanging every piece of clothing he has ever bought for the exact same thing, just a size bigger, because he sees you skinny no matter how much you have changed.
Love is...being fat and not noticing.
Love is...the second TV and buying headphones for the PS3.

"I will remember you, will you remember me? Dont let your life pass you by.
Im so afraid to love you, more afraid to loose, clinging to a past that doesnt let me choose. Once there was a dark, deep and endless night, you gave me everything you had, oh-you gave me light."

Vegas Baby

Well I went to Vegas in January! I went to the CBR (Championship Bull Riders) World Finals with Robin and her family....and when I say family, I mean FAMILY. I love hanging out with them because there is soooooo many! I dont have brothers or sisters, so I dont really understand sibling love....or a huge Christmas with grandma, aunts, uncles and kids everywhere. But they do! Anyways, two of Robin's brothers were riding in the finals, so we all went.

It was a BIG step for me to get on a plane without Jared!! But I survived. I did a lot of walking around alone...even rode on elevators alone!

Vegas is big and bright!! We walked on the strip one day, but mostly we were in our hotel/casino. That is also where the bull riding finals were held, so it was very much like a small town. Since it was away from the strip, there wasnt a lot of tourists....just the people who were there for the bull riding. So it was like you knew everyone. I guess that is what made me feel safe enough to wander around. Even got to play Black Jack with Tuff Hedeman!! This picture was after the awards ceremony.

After returing home...there was a whirl wind of drama! I still havent really....I dont know, recovered or figured out exactly what I feel about it all.

Overall Vegas was great fun! I definatly learned and experienced new things and hopefully together it will give me the strength to move forward....even if I dont understand why I have to.

Im pretty sure no one reads this...so I feel like I can talk. I know I havent posted in ages...lots changes on a daily basis with me! But I wanted to say that I had a great weekend. Besides some very specific 'great' stuff, I feel like maybe I will survive. I said that once before (Oct of '07), and it really helped me then. I think this is another stepping stone for me....

YEAH!

Oh-I got this today on myspace and thought it would be really funny...

If the last perso​n you kisse​d said that you were the only one they wante​d what would​ you say?I would be stoked!!

Have a best frien​d?​ a few good friends
What'​s on your mind right​ now?I really should be heading to bed now
What were you doing​ at 2am this morni​ng?​​​laying in bed...not sleeping, with a big silly grin on my face
Will your next kiss be a mista​ke? not if all goes as planned!!!
Did the one perso​n who hurt you the most in your life apolo​gize?​​​ not exactly
What'​​​s with you and the last perso​n you kisse​d?​​​ oh how I would love to know!!
Do you have a frien​d of the oppos​ite sex you can talk to?sure do
Who is on your mind right​ now?he he he :-)
Have you ever had your heart​ broke​n?​​​ if so how many times​?​​​ yep, chipped a few times. Crushed only once....but continually for a year and a half!!
What time did you wake up this morni​ng?​​​5:00, but I refussed to get up with only 2 hrs sleep
Will you be in a relat​ionsh​ip next month​? I guess if Im lucky!!
Have you ever kisse​d someo​ne whose​ name start​ed with a K? Im sure, but I cant think of anyone...maybe not
Do you like to cuddl​e/​​​snugg​le?not really, but it sure sounded like a good idea today
Would​ it hurt seein​g the perso​n you last kisse​d,​​​ kissi​ng someo​ne else?​​​Kinda, but I wouldnt be surprised.
When is the last time you saw numbe​r 1 on your top frien​ds?​​​today...at HEB
Is there​ anybo​dy you wish you could​ be spend​ing time with right​ now?yes, yes, yes
Who was the last perso​n you held hands​ with?​​​a super cutie!!!
If you could​ have one thing​ right​ now, what would​ it be?a helicopter to take me across TX, and back in time for work tomorrow
Are you wasti​ng your time on someo​ne?thats all I do is waste my time...but Im working on it
Whats​ your curre​nt probl​em?​​​decisions
Are you excit​ed about​ anyth​ing today​?​​yes...today was just an exciting day, even if nothing happens from here
Did you cry at all today​?​​​nope, and it's a Sunday!! That hasnt happened in forever!
On avera​ge,​​​ what do you think​ you cry the most about​?on average? Hummm...can u say JHK!!! duh
How do you feel right​ now? excited...like on cloud 9
Did you kiss or hug anyon​e today​?​​​yes and yes, and I have to say, it was a grrrrreat hug!
What’​s the funni​est thing​ that happe​ned to you today​?​tricking someone into eating ice cream
How different are you from 3 years ago?Very!! well maybe Im not different, but my life is
What'​​​s your favor​ite color​?​​​purple
Are you afrai​d of the dark?​yep
Ever talke​d to someo​ne that was drunk​?​​​ we did more then talk
Do you like your hair?​ yep
Do you miss anybo​dy?​it would be nice if someone was here...or I was there

What a beautiful day

I just wanted to write about our beautiful day in the Texas Hill Country. Today was so warm and sunny!!!!! I could have gone down to the river at my house, but I didnt want to push my luck (you know what starts coming out when it is warm!) I cleaned out my flower bed, planted new flowers, took a ton of pictures, and listened to some live, local music!!! What a day! Oh, and finished it off with a supper at my mom's house.

December 3

In case anyone is looking for an update....I am still planning on getting on a big jet plane Thursday morning!! If anything, I am less anxious. My room is a disaster right now, but I am already packing and planning. Tonight I picked up Robin's iPod. She loaded 1200 songs for me to listen to on the plane. Well, there is enough songs for 4.6 days of continous play...no repeats!! So, I might be listening to it all weekend!!! Especially if I am alone in the hotel!! Thank you Robin!!

I have a list to tackle tomorrow, then we will head to Brian's apartment on Wednesday. The plane takes off at 6am Thursday, so I cant decide if I should get up at about 2, or try to sleep as long a possible. I always need to eat, but sometimes when I eat too early, I get queezy. So, If I can go to sleep at 8pm, I would be able to get up about 2am, give my stomach time to settle and then head to the airport.

Any ideas?????

November update

I know it has been awhile since I left any notes...sorry. I have always heard the 'grown ups' say they are SOOOO busy and dont know how they did it all and had a full time job. Well, this week I have caught myself saying just that.

I am again in charge of the great Relay For Life of Gillespie County. Our event is only 5 months away and I am so BUSY!! I have been working 1 or 2 days a week at HEB. Thursday was dad's 69th birthday, so of course I thought I needed to throw a party. As I got home about 4pm, I asked dad to tally up everone we expected to join us for dinner. What???....12 people, and we are supposed to eat in less then 2 hours? Oh Geez! How to I get myself into these messes!

Well needless to say, our meal was amazing and beautiful. The menu included Pork Loin, Spinach salad, potatoes au'gratin, green bean casserole and whole wheat bread.

Today I finalized the upcoming meeting dates, bloged them, then sent a reminder email to about 50 people to check the blog. (I dont think anybody does) Just moments ago, I thought...'Oh crap, I need to start defrosting the turkey!' I havent even bought it yet....oopsie!

Checking in...

Hello all,
I dont have anything new to report. Just for clarification...yes, I was fired last Friday.

Dont worry, I have plenty to do this week. I have been cleaning and finishing projects!!

Im still sleeping at mom's house, but now I think it is just because she cooks!! Man, I forgot how wonderful it is to NOT be responsible for supper. Plus she has more cable channels then me, and oh-how I love to watch the wedding shows on the STYLE network and WE. (No, Im not joking. I LOVE that stuff).

I live by my lists, and according to my master list, I have plenty to do tomorrow and Thursday. Then Friday I will be heading to Dallas for the Relay For Life Summit. If anyone out there want to be on my committee, please let me know.

I am trying to start writing in a journal. I know, it sound like a Oprah thing to do. But I need some focus right now. I bought a really pretty journal....but I havent actually started writing anything yet. Like I said, here at mom's there is cable!!!

my life

Just a quick run down...
*A few months ago, my boyfriend of 6 years decided to move out
*I cant find anyone to take over Relay For Life, so it looks like Im in charge again
*I find a snake in my bedroom and havent been able to sleep in my room since
*My dad asked me when I was moving my stuff out
*And today I get fired!!!!!

Recap...
*A few months ago, my boyfriend of 6 years decided to move out, We still talk everyday and things are actually running smoother then they have been in years.
*I cant find anyone to take over Relay For Life, so it looks like Im in charge again. Im pretty bossy, and definatly work better alone. Plus last year was awesome, so I have a pretty good idea what needs to happen to do that again.
*I find a snake in my bedroom and havent been able to sleep in my room since. Ive been sleeping at Mom's house just up the road. Plus she cooks breakfast!
*My dad asked me when I was moving my stuff out. I told him I wasnt!
*And today I get fired!!!!! No more stress over work and I actually still have a job at HEB, where I can pick up as many hours as I need. I still want to open my own shop, so maybe this will be my catalyst.

Good night for now....ARAH