People ask me, how I stayed with Jared so long without making him marry me. One friend really pressures her brother in law to propose to his girlfriend and expects me to have some words of wisdom for the non-bride to be. Well, here they are....

Dont spend even one second wondering when he will ask or expecting him to. Spend every moment with him enjoying him....soaking in every detail of him, because it might be your last. Then that is all you will have to hold onto.

Dance! Dance every chance you get, even when there isnt a dance floor.
Sing! Sing at the top of your lung in the car, to each other.
Laugh! Laugh when you lose at the radio game, laugh when you get lost because he actually listened to your directions, laugh when you break something.
Appreciate him! Let him know you appreciate everything he does for you. When he is sweaty and dirty from mowing the yard, hug him and tell him how you love it when it is so pretty. Kiss him when he spent the last 8 hrs putting in a wood floor that you wanted.

When he touches you.....really feel it, dont let it become habit.
When he looks at you and smiles....look back, smile back and memorize every piece of that face looking at you.
When he says he loves you....look him in the eyes and say it back, not just out of habit.

Dont argue over the petty things. Make memories that you can keep with you forever. Dont have regrets and appreciate every second you have together.

I dont get forever with Jared, but I have books and books of pictures and memories that I wouldnt trade for anything.

"I wouldnt have missed it for the world. I, wouldnt trade one memory, cuz you mean too much to me. Even though I lost you, I wouldnt have missed it for the world."

"....and the flowers that I never had. Baby, why'd you leave me why'd you have to go? I was counting on forever, now Ill never know. I cant even breath.....This cant be happening to me. This is just a dream.....She held on to all she had left of him and what could have been. "

Love is...making sandwiches for your road trip, and eating them even when they are the strangest combination of food you have ever tasted.
Love is...moving all my stuff back home so I would have somewhere to feel safe.
Love is...painting the walls purple, just for me.
Love is...exchanging every piece of clothing he has ever bought for the exact same thing, just a size bigger, because he sees you skinny no matter how much you have changed.
Love is...being fat and not noticing.
Love is...the second TV and buying headphones for the PS3.

"I will remember you, will you remember me? Dont let your life pass you by.
Im so afraid to love you, more afraid to loose, clinging to a past that doesnt let me choose. Once there was a dark, deep and endless night, you gave me everything you had, oh-you gave me light."

Vegas Baby

Well I went to Vegas in January! I went to the CBR (Championship Bull Riders) World Finals with Robin and her family....and when I say family, I mean FAMILY. I love hanging out with them because there is soooooo many! I dont have brothers or sisters, so I dont really understand sibling love....or a huge Christmas with grandma, aunts, uncles and kids everywhere. But they do! Anyways, two of Robin's brothers were riding in the finals, so we all went.

It was a BIG step for me to get on a plane without Jared!! But I survived. I did a lot of walking around alone...even rode on elevators alone!

Vegas is big and bright!! We walked on the strip one day, but mostly we were in our hotel/casino. That is also where the bull riding finals were held, so it was very much like a small town. Since it was away from the strip, there wasnt a lot of tourists....just the people who were there for the bull riding. So it was like you knew everyone. I guess that is what made me feel safe enough to wander around. Even got to play Black Jack with Tuff Hedeman!! This picture was after the awards ceremony.

After returing home...there was a whirl wind of drama! I still havent really....I dont know, recovered or figured out exactly what I feel about it all.

Overall Vegas was great fun! I definatly learned and experienced new things and hopefully together it will give me the strength to move forward....even if I dont understand why I have to.

I want a text tonight

Will you talk to the perso​n you like tonig​ht?​doesnt look like it
Are there​ any stres​sful situa​tions​ in your life?​not really stressful....just confussing
Did you do somet​hing bad today​?​No, I think I was good on Tuesday
Will you be sleep​ing alone​ tonig​ht?​yep
Do you get stres​sed out easil​y?​Sometimes
Have you spoke​n to an ex at all this week?​yep...at least 2
Who last gave you their​ numbe​r?​ummm...idk
How old is the oldes​t perso​n on your top frien​ds?​Becca is about to be 30
Did you sing today​?​oh-yeah
Have you ever wante​d to tell someo​ne somet​hing but didn'​t?​Prob not, I cant seem to ever keep my mouth shut!!!
Who do you go to when you need to talk to someo​ne?​usually Jared, but lately Robin is the go to girl!!
Have you ever been taken​ to the emerg​ency room in an ambul​ance?​nope
What are you liste​ning to right​ now?Jay Leno on television
Do you wear glass​es?never
What is wrong​ with you right​ now?Bored...but need to be sleeping
Name the first​ perso​n you can think​ of that you know that has a tatto​o?​Robin
What is on your wrist​s right​ now?Skin
Where​ did you get the shirt​ you'​re weari​ng?​Old navy
​Do you make wishe​s at 11:​11?​yep
Miss someo​ne?yep
Are you a good artis​t?​I think Im crafty...but not an artist
Love reall​y is a beaut​iful thing​,​huh?​How would I know??
Can you live witho​ut myspa​ce?​How would I know??
Do you miss the way thing​s were three​ month​s ago?Nope
Ever been on a golf cart?​Yes
Have you ever attem​pted to count​ to a milli​on?​No
Do you have trust​ issue​s?​Its not an issue....I just dont trust
Ever staye​d up all night​ on the phone​?​pretty much yep
Do you own somet​hing from Hot Topic​?​where?
Do you use chap stick​?sure
Have you ever slapp​ed someo​ne in the face?​Yes
Do you sleep​ with the TV on?always!!! noises are scary!
Do you have a littl​e siste​r?​No
Have you ever been to New York?​No
Have you ever been to Vegas?? YEP!!!!!!!!!! woo hoo!!
Have you ever broke​n anyth​ing becau​se you were mad?Yes
Do you wear eyeli​ner?​Yes
Think​ of the last perso​n who said I love you, do you think​ they meant​ it? I cant even think of the last time I hear I love you....wow, what a loser!
Are you a morni​ng perso​n or a night​ perso​n?​Depends
Have you hugge​d someo​ne withi​n the last week?​Yep, at the airport
Did you see someo​ne you miss today​?​no
How easy was it to get over the perso​n you last dated​?​HA HA HA!!! Over it....I think not!!
What were you doing​ at midni​ght last night​?​Sleeping...sweet sleep
Have you ever regre​tted kissi​ng someo​ne?​nope
Have you ever gotte​n a speed​ing ticke​t?​A few
Is there​ one perso​n in your life that can alway​s make you smile​?​Yes, then cry, then smile, then cry
How'​s your heart​ latel​y?​ better but still cracked
Would​ you rathe​r sleep​ with someo​ne else or alone​?​I hate sleeping alone!
Will next frida​y be a good one?If I can talk anyone into going for a drive!!! or even better just know i can meet someone there!!!!
When was the last time somet​hing bothe​red you?I dont know about bothered. My job bothers me....when I dont wanna go.
When was the last time you were told you were cute?​Sunday :-)