My terriable morning

Ok, some of you may already know, but I was not at work. Why you ask?

Well as my alarm does everyday, it started beeping at 6:15am. I hit snooze. In between hitting snooze and dozing off, I hear the crinkle of the wicker laundry basket right next to my bed, usually the sign of a scorpion. Since this was the first night in months that I actually turned off my TV, I had to reach for the flashlight. This is where things get hazy…

The next thing I remember is jumping up and down in the middle of my room yelling, "I AM A BIG GIRL" (just to convince myself) as I watch a Sn&%e slither across my night stand and into my laundry basket!!!!! I had to blink several times to make sure I was not just dreaming, because this is exactly how it happens in my nightmares!
Somehow my mind does not lock up (even though I cannot stop screaming at the top of my lungs) and I actually devise a plan. I prop open the door to the balcony and slam the lid on the laundry basket with a gallon jug of water. You know, just in case it is so strong I can't hold the lid closed.

I manage to get the basket to the end of my bed at which point I cannot control my screaming and heave the basket across the room, out the door and over the balcony!
By the time I run down the stairs to Dad's room, he is already putting his pants on and asks, "What the hell is the matter with you?" I answer, "Sn&%e! OMG! My room! OMG! Sn&%e! Basket! Dirty clothes! Sn&%e! Balcony, outside, HURRY!!!" All of this in between sobbing crying.

Dad goes outside to sift through my clothes with a broom. I very effectively stand inside the French doors and hold the flashlight. I cannot control the panic attack anymore….I must call Jared, it is 6:33am. He calms me down, but I am still convinced that Dad is about to get attacked and I am lucky to be alive!!!

Dad finds nothing and heads back inside to make coffee. I don't leave my position until I see movement and send the old man back out. This time he prepares with a huge pair of cedar snippers. I am venturing onto the steps to help look in the grass. He asks for the broom again, done. Then he says, 'You know, it might have gone that way,' and points to me!!!!!! I am back inside, screaming. 'What the hell? I am trying to be helpful and you are trying to kill me!' Here we are dancing around the back yard. "There it is!" "Kill it!" "There it is!" "Its still moving!" AHHHHH! Then the dogs join in!

When Jared arrived, things had calmed down. He examined the remains and threw the 2 foot monster down to the river, before gathering the clothing that was strewn all about the back yard and escorting me upstairs. The crying and shaking began to subside and I went into full on cleaning mode…all day long.

This was my ultimate nightmare come true!! But on the other hand, this was the best scenario. I never saw the head, well until dad started smashing it with the snips. It went into the only basket with a lid where it was contained, and I had an outside exit very near.
Needless to say, I am still a nervous wreck. My purse strap fell this morning and I about broke my keyboard tray off my desk as a jumped. I did get a bit of sleep last night, but all the lights were on as well as the TV.